I had an “a-ha” moment a while back with someone I was working with. They described how they were doing all the “right” things: gratitude journaling, movement, meditation, walks, therapy, breathwork, having hard conversations with loved ones, setting boundaries. They were using all the tools in their toolkit, and yet, they couldn’t shake this feeling. They still felt stuck, low energy, unfulfilled.

On a whim, I asked them, “Do you like the life you’ve created? Do you want to be here?” By here, I meant the “on-paper successful job,” their relationship, the city they lived in.

Then I asked, “Do you want what you want because you want it, or because you think you should want it?”

Here’s the thing I’ve come to realize over the years:

No amount of therapy or tools can support you if you don’t want to be in the life you’re living. Tools can help you get through the day. They can help you show up to your job. But if your job doesn’t fulfill your purpose or connect to your why, you’ll likely continue to feel stuck.

Now, I’m not someone who believes everyone has to have a job they’re passionate about. And honestly, the idea of finding your “passion” in work is often over-hyped.
All jobs are needed and should be respected, no one job is better than another. They help us survive.

But we have to know what we are surviving for.
And who we are surviving for.

Am I doing this because I want to?
Or because someone else wants me to? (Someone else could be parents, society, friends, the status quo...)

So…how do you get clearer on your WHY?

For me, it’s been a combination of a few things:

1. I’ve gotten spiritual.
   I have a relationship with something greater than myself.
   In a session today, we were sharing our WHYs, and what came forward for me was this: I believe each person is a miracle. The fact that I was born, in this body, in this generation, to the family I was given, is a miracle.
   And so, I want to live a life that believes in and creates miracles. How that looks can change with each season of my life, I am not fixated on the how.

2. I always come back to my core values.
   This is a practice I often give clients, and one I lead during our Yoga Teacher Training. It helps me connect to what truly matters to me.

3. I believe desired feelings can be our driving force, more so than specific, tangible SMART goals. (Yes, there’s a time and place for those.)
   But often, it’s the feeling you’re trying to create.
   The means by which you get there can shift.

It’s not about the job, the house, the relationship, the trip. Usually, it’s about the core feeling you’re hoping it will bring.

So today, for invested subscribers, I’ve included my Core Values and Feelings worksheets, along with a recorded mini-lecture on how to use this practice to help you get clearer on your WHY, to create a life for YOU.

I hope you enjoy.